When I began my spiritual journey, I thought that ego and confidence were the same thing…or at least came from the same place. I figured that people with big egos, people who were always showing off, demanding attention or stating their point of view must have a lot of confidence in themselves and their beliefs or they wouldn’t be putting them forward.
Now, I realize that the opposite is true.
People with confidence are able to put their ego, their need for recognition in any way, to the side. Instead of being in everyone’s space about their viewpoints, etc. they have the confidence to trust that if what they do or say is important to the recipient, it will be noticed. Further, they trust that if it’s not noticed, the message is still valid…it’s just meant for someone else.
I’m beginning to be able to tell the difference inside of me…in how they FEEL. Ego feels like frustration, anger and like I’m being ignored. CONFIDENCE, feels solid. It feels like I can’t be hurt by small things because I know I’m in a good place. And I’m also beginning to understand WHY they feel so different.
Ego comes from the surface. From a basic instinct and desire to belong. Confidence comes from somewhere much deeper. It comes from the soul…from a place of inner knowing and trust – trust in self, trust in guides, trust in the Universe.
With this new understanding, it’s easy to see why responding from a place of ego has been so off-putting and detrimental in relationships of any kind. It feels uncomfortable to the person on the other side. When I would respond from ego, it would feel forceful, demanding, needy.
Instead, when I respond from a place of confidence, the other person feels they can trust me. They’re drawn into what I’m saying because they can tell it won’t bother me if they’re not.
People are drawn to confidence and repelled by ego.
Think about this in your own life and interactions. When you’re with others, do you try to force your way into conversations? Do you get upset when things don’t go your way or you feel like you’re not being listened to? I sure did! That’s ego talking. Through my spiritual journey, I’ve become more confident. Through working with my guides and mentors I’ve learned to tell ego to take a step (or several) back. Instead of responding from ego, I respond from confidence. The results are still being discovered.
If you’re like I was and let ego rule you, you can learn to let it go too. Start with intention. Tell your ego it’s no longer allowed to run your life. Set this is a strong intention every day. Put visual reminders in your living space or on your person. And be patient with yourself as you learn to respond from confidence rather than ego. I’ll let you in on a secret – impatience is ego too. Being patient with yourself is one way to show ego you mean it when you say you’re not going to let it run your life anymore.
Give it a try. And let me know how it goes or if you need help.