For several weeks, I’d been struggling with loneliness. I wanted to meet the right person and share my life with someone. That’s a very human need. On a logical level, I understand that, but there’s always been a part of me that’s felt like it’s just beyond my grasp. More recently, I’d been asking my guides to show my path to finding my partner…and I kept feeling like I was told “NO! Trust US!” It took some time, and more than a few tears, but here’s what I figured out.
First, it truly is about trust. And not the “trust, but verify” kind of trust. I mean the kind of trust where you feel like you’re falling off a cliff and you’re not sure if there’s actually a net or not. When we reach a certain level of awakening, our guides start to ask this of us for bigger and bigger things. They’re not trying to be mean or hurtful. They’re helping us become – become more awakened, more connecting, BECOME our truest selves.
Second, MY path is likely a solitary one. And that’s not a bad thing, though it was hard to accept. As a shaman, however, I’d reached a point where a decision had to be made – or at least that’s what I felt.
Here’s the thing. Think about any tribal shamanic traditional you’re aware of. In the vast majority, the shaman is unmarried and while a part of the community also somewhat separate. That’s necessary to maintain a professional distance, just like our modern day doctors. There’s also usually only one shaman per tribe, unless he/she has taken on an apprentice.
This all connected into the choice I was being asked to make. I could commit to spirit, to walking the shaman path, trusting the shaman path OR I could commit to being with a human partner. In my life, the way that I give myself 110% to my commitments, there simply isn’t room for both. At first, I admit, this was hard. But when I took a step back, it was actually easy.
My soul has needed the shamanic path longer than I’ve known such a path existed. I feel more whole, more complete, walking the shaman path than I ever could with a human partner. And truthfully, although I don’t push the shaman-way on anyone, it’s through this practice that I’ve been connected to my gift of being able to help others discover their own intuition and walk their spiritual path. So, I made my choice and my commitment. And that leads me to the next thing I learned.
When you truly trust and truly commit, doors fly open! I had no sooner made my choice when an incredible opportunity fell in my lap. I’ll share more about this in future posts. For now, I’ll share that it combines all my spirit work, my martial arts training, my desire to teach, and my calling as a healer into one utterly amazing opportunity. Truly, only spirit could’ve brought this into my life the way that it was.
Fourth, I discovered during my morning meditation ritual the day after accepting the opportunity I’d been given that my connection is now far deeper, higher, stronger than it had been prior to this challenge/acceptance/opportunity. And it makes sense. When you choose to make that trust fall off the cliff, you’re richly rewarded on both the earth plane and the spiritual plane.
I feel a sense of calmness, of peace, of stillness that I’ve not felt before. It feels more solid, more long-lasting. And it all started with making the decision to trust.
I’ll leave you today with a challenge of your own. Listen to your guides, figure out what they’re asking you to make a trust fall about and then DO IT! It will be scary, but it will also be worth it.